Have you ever felt like NOT doing something?
Ever put off for tomorrow what you could do today because … well, just because … ?
Oh you’re not alone in that!
In today’s fast‑paced world, the multiple and complex challenges of life can often feel overwhelming. These challenges seem to expand and multiply until they feel almost insurmountable, and then you start telling yourself stories in order to be able to cope. The stories might be about why you can’t do something, what you think is or isn’t possible, and even how big you let yourself dream.
And you also know that the stories you tell yourself are hugely powerful, and are rooted firmly in your beliefs.
Stories like: “I don’t have time right now” or “I don’t have the energy for that this week”.
But here’s the simple truth about what we call time:
“Twenty minutes of doing something is more valuable than twenty hours of thinking about doing something.”~ Unknown
Procrastination happens when you delay or postpone action; you put off doing something that needs to be completed.
When you procrastinate, you tend to focus on activities that are not a priority. This can include avoiding difficult tasks, filling your day with low-priority work, or waiting until the last minute to start a project.
While procrastination is common for millions on the planet, it can easily and quickly negatively affect you, your life, your relationships and your work, if left to take over. For example, you might start missing important deadlines, arrive late for meetings, become overwhelmed and frustrated because you’re not reaching your goals, put on excess weight, and then find yourself losing your mojo and your motivation as tasks and ‘shoulds’ pile up.
Or a situation or person might delay you taking action, and so you ‘wait for better days’ or ‘another time’ because it’s ‘out of your control’. You might even appear to be working towards a goal, but your actions are misaligned and you spend time frittering about on non-value actions, fearful of deadlines and avoiding the discomfort of making a decision(s).
Sound familiar?
Many people mistakenly believe procrastination is a sign of laziness or lack of time management, but this isn’t necessarily the case.
The reasons we procrastinate are actually quite varied, and include the one thing that most people are really surprised by when they hear it, and it’s this:
We procrastinate in order to avoid dealing with difficult emotions.
Now you may be thinking, what on earth do emotions have to do with procrastination?
Well in short, everything.
Because you see, we shy away from dealing with difficult, unresolved emotions like fear, anger and grief, precisely because they’re difficult!
Research shows it’s easier for us to avoid difficult emotions (and instead deal with the unintended consequences of procrastination) than it is to sit in the deep, sometimes jarring pain of said unregulated emotions which emanate from early childhood, and which unconsciously block us from taking action as adults today.
The former is hard, then latter is even harder, because it’s likely we have to face something uncomfortable about ourselves that rings true as unresolved trauma, and so it becomes easier to just squash it away and pretend it doesn’t exist.
Especially when it comes to the trifecta of unresolved fear, anger and grief.
Isn’t that interesting?
Why you procrastinate
Below is a list from Positive Psychology of some typical examples of WHY you might procrastinate.
1) Perfectionism/ Fear of Failure
Procrastination often comes from a desire for perfection, but when you attempt to complete every task perfectly, you set yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
If this rings true, you probably think something to yourself like:
- “Rather than risking failure, I am better off not doing anything at all.”
2) Fear of the Unknown
Fear of the unknown can cause you to delay starting or completing new and unfamiliar tasks. However, uncertainty is a part of life that everyone experiences, and putting things off only stops you from progressing.
If fear of the unknown resonates, you probably say something along the lines of:
- “I don’t want to start this project because I don’t know how it will turn out.”
3) Boredom
Some people procrastinate and delay dealing with uninteresting tasks because they have difficulty tolerating boredom. Procrastination is a way of avoiding boredom by doing something pleasurable instead.
If this is you, you probably say something like:
- “Life (and work) should always be fun. Why waste time with the boring stuff?”
Can you relate to any of these examples?
Think back to your own childhood for a moment, and see if there’s anything from your past that triggers your emotional response(s) there.
And then consider the following:
- What are the tasks you typically put off or avoid? Are they tasks to do with work activities, dealing with relationships, or matters around the home? Where might this thinking originate?
- Now consider the ways your procrastination manifests. What are the types of procrastination behaviours you recognise for yourself? Is it waiting until the last minute before you start a task? Do you work on all the non-important or non-urgent tasks and leave the BIG stuff to later?
- Think carefully about the emotion(s) that you’re wanting to avoid. What is the emotion that lies BENEATH your procrastination habits? (Hint: there may be more than one)
- How many times have you resorted to doom scrolling, junk food or other addictive substances to soothe your way to feeling better?
Top tip: take action right now with 20 minutes for yourself to sit with these questions, and then journal your thoughts around the answers.
*And remember, there’s a definitive magic that happens between your head and your heart when you transcribe your thoughts, so grab a pen and some paper and get writing, and see what comes up for you!